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Regrets (Eat Dessert First)

J

jimb522

New member
Hi all,
I will not be able to participate in this years SHTP. I would like to continue to participate in the SHTP forum as at some point I will be able to finish getting the boat ready for future races, and I have found the forum to be very helpful.
While waiting to catch the plane back from Oakland on November 13th, after attending the Power management seminar, my wife was hospitalized which what was diagnosed later at Mayo Clinic as stage 4 lung cancer, with other complications. We are getting treatment at Mayo Clinic, and she is doing better, but obviously, the prognosis is not encouraging. We will make an effort to make every day count. 2014-11-02 19.14.30.jpgimage.jpeg
I have appreciated the interaction with other forum participants, and meeting some of you at the seminar. Hopefully the future will include a SHTP. Sometimes the lesson that life is what happens after you make your plans, does get your attention. In any case, I have come to believe fully in the old cliche, "eat dessert first, life is short".
Jim
 
What a beautiful girl. Worth the calories. They are doing remarkable things with targeted medicines. I'm sure that I speak for others who wish you both the fairest of winds.
 
Jim, I'm sorry to hear this. Your friends here in SSS will be standing with you as you two work through this. What is your wife's name?
 
Jim
Prayers are coming your way from the east (south) coast. As a cancer survivor, I can attest to the initial shock!
 
Bob,
Ke Li is my wife's name. I was introduced her about 16 years ago when she lived in Beijing, China. I was immediately smitten, but it took me until 2002 to marry her, as Chinese is a damnably difficult language,and it took me until then to learn to say I love you in Chinese (woa I ni). She spoke little English. The only other Chinese I have learned since then was when she taught me to say "Ting Hua" which she said was Chinese for "yes dear". Actually, she lied. The literal translation of ting hua is "I will be obedient". Chinese women are sneaky that way. I am and have been crazy about her, since I met her, and I am happy to say that a new drug called Tarceva, in one month of taking one pill a day, has made the cancer in her brain invisible, and and 90 percent of the cancer in her lungs disappear also. She feels much better, and we are about to go get her head radiated at Mayo in a couple of weeks. Tarceva isn't a cure, and supposedly doesn't have a great long-term prognosis, but we are happy for what we get. At $8000 monthly, it's a load too, and the insurance company is complaining, but they are still paying. Tarceva's main side effect is horrible acne. My wife's skin was flawless. I console her by telling her it's like I am sleeping with a teenager.
Ken, I have thought of you more then once since our medical issues started out of the blue in November. You are proof that age is just an attitude and does not mean that any particular age is an immutable deadline, after which its the nursing home for sure.
I have not gotten this close to the starting line of a SHTP since I started wanting to do it in 2004. Since May I had spent about $35,000 and a lot of paid and unpaid hours on the Prodigal Son. Some of course was wasted money and effort, as I have trouble remembering that better is the enemy of good. It helps me to have an example of someone who is proof that. Advancing age means that there is not still time to live.
On the other hand, I should have been more vigilant against the wisdom of Sterling Hayden, when he admonished us in
"Wanderer" With two quotes that I particularly remember.

"The years thunder by;
The dreams of youth grow dim, where they lie caked in dust on shelves of patience;
Before we know it, the tomb is sealed."
And
"Where then lies the answer? In Choice. Which shall it be, bankruptcy of purse, or bankruptcy of life?"

Ke and I are trying hard to make up for those years of patience.
Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts.
Jim
 
With some ladies, "I will be obedient" is a good tactic! Ting Hua is added to my varied vocabulary. Is "hua" pronounced like "hoa" in Vietnamese? (wah...)
Sterling Hayden got it right when he said "The years thunder by"...he could have added that they do it faster and faster as they go by. Fair Winds to you!
 
Jim,
I am sorry to hear about your wife's illness. My prayers are with you and her. It's yet another reminder to live and love to its fullness. We will miss you on the Transpac and will hold your place open. I am racing this year partly because the future is so uncertain and I find regret a hard emotion to live with.
George
 
Regrets (et dessert first)

image.jpegimage.jpeg

Hi all,
I want to thank you for your kind expressions of sympathy. We just got back from Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville Florida, where Ke underwent brain radiation, targeted to the five small spots that showed up on her first MRI. They had disappeared after 30 days of taking Tarceva, a new drug that prevents the cancer cell from dividing, and the radiation was a prophylactic measure. At the same time, the cancer in her lungs uwas 90 percent gone. I am hopeful that that positive trend continues in one month when we go back for a follow-up lung CT SCAN. THE DOWNSIDE TO TARCEVA IS THAT A TERRIBLE acne like skin disruption goes with it. Ke was not recognizable for a while. But, when beauty or death is the choice, there isn't much to think about. I have not even been on the boat behind my house to check the water level. I content myself with looking at the waterline. Battling cancer is a full-time job it seems like, when combined with trying to have a life and work. It's kind of like an ocean race where you go from periods of joy, and sorrow, slogging upwind, with occasional respites of the wind at your back. We are thankful for what we get. As a criminal defense lawyer, I have been humbled by the extreme kindness shown to me by judges and the various district attorney's I deal with. Generally they are a hard-bitten bunch of wolves who all want to put my poor clients in jail, and we have a contentious, yet symbiotic, relationship. But every one of them has bent over backwards to accommodate my needs for continuances of hearings, trials, etc., and have been so kind to me.
We are all humans under the job description after all.
Jim
 
Hi buglighters
I am looking forward to following the race, and wish all of you fair winds, a safe return, and an experience that will give you a lifetime of great memories and satisfaction. Ke and I are fighting the good fight every day, and the latest medicines have improved her quality of life considerably. So much so in fact, thar she will spend two weeks in Beijing in July visiting her family. Good luck all, and for god's sake be careful and hold on tight!
Jim
 
'I remember you,' goes the song, doesn't it Jim? If my memory hast failed me, I've known of your SHTP Hopes and desires since 2005 with the J-35 and Katrina. Then the move to your multi hull, and the fearful cross-gulf passage. And now, OMG.

Blessings to you and your beautiful love.

I hope your China plans include a stop in n Hanalei!

Lucie Mewes SHTP Chair '06 & '14.
 
Lucie,
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Perhaps one day I will make it to Hanelie. It will happen when, and if, it is meant to be.
Jim
 
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