Ruben Gabriel, Alan Hebert, Synthia Petroka and Rob Tryon met in the wee hours of the morning yesterday to rent a minivan and bomb down to Marina Del Rey for Tom Kirschbaums memorial service. The drive down was a lot of fun. Rob treated us to sordid tales of his misspent youth as a rock star in New York. He even revealed how he and LaDonna hooked up and how she got her coveted Latitude 38 job. We all now have the raw material to blackmail LaDonna, whenever needed.
There's a catchphrase, perhaps motto...part mantra for the road trip, the second part of which is "....and blow"....but I'll leave that for the non-family friendly atmosphere of a beer soaked SSS meeting, or maybe Rob's Memorial service, where Synthia will roll her eyes, decline to expound on the "...and blow" part, and we we all look very somber.
The ride back up started with In 'n Out Burger and rapidly went downhill as the hours lengthened after midnight. Raw material digested by us four included philosophical musings on SSS rules, whiners, the nature of religion, similarities between the SHTP and LongPac to meditation, and Ruben snoring.
But back to the beginning.....We pulled in to the California Yacht Club, and hot on our heels was Skip Allen, which was great. Chris and Justine Humann followed soon after, they had flown down. We had time for a beer in the bar (I changed into a kilt and tie) and then the Memorial started.
it was held outside on the lawn behind the California Yacht Club and I was pretty shocked at the number of people in attendance. There were a LOT of well-dressed men in formal suits, as would be expected. Tom Kirschbaum was a highly respected attorney in Southern California working on employee benefit plans and tax ramifications of their programs. The praise from former workers was high. It is clear that they, too saw Tom as a little bit different; high standards, intelligent, careful and meticulous were things we heard a lot of. It was also clear that everybody at that Memorial service knew Tom was a sailor and as a friend had put it, about Toms SHTP.. "the people who aren't sailors think it's insane, and the sailors are all jealous."
Tom and Gayle are very into Opera, and a singer from the LA Opera performed. Several co-workers spoke and then Eric Lambert, a PSSA sailor, good friend of Toms and the guy who I've been in touch with about the details of what he saw when he found Feral in the surf on Santa Monica beach, said a few words. Me being who I am, I HAD to stick my arm up in the air and volunteer to speak, so I told two sailing stories on Tom and talked about making your dreams come true. Toms daughter Ilana spoke a bit, and despite the fact that she was clearly very emotional, spoke well and with poise.
The family had a small team of videographers there, and the SSS TransPaccers lined up and said a few words for the video, so in years to come Toms daughters, Dina and Ilana, and Gayle will remember that we were there and what an honor it was to sail with Tom.
After the memorial was over, Synthia, Ruben, Rob, Chris, Justine and myself drove over and saw Feral on the beach, where she lay after being hauled well up away from the surf line. We'll have pictures. It's pretty sobering. I spotted Ferals Ca YC burgee in the wreckage and grabbed it, I will mail it to Gayle.
It was a hard day, but a good day. Gayle and the girls told us many times how glad they were that the SSS'ers were there. Ilana said, and was quoted saying that her dad truly came alive when he was on the boat. He became who he really was when he was sailing.
Truth is, we shouldn't have been there. Tom should have pulled into Marina Del Rey that day, tired wet and cold. He should have put Feral away and gone home to his family. There shouldn't have been a Memorial this past Thursday, it should have been on some Thursday twenty or twenty five years from now. But sometimes that's just not how it works out. I am glad that I personally, and that so many of Toms Nor Cal SSS sailing friends took the time to go down to Southern California, yesterday.
There's a catchphrase, perhaps motto...part mantra for the road trip, the second part of which is "....and blow"....but I'll leave that for the non-family friendly atmosphere of a beer soaked SSS meeting, or maybe Rob's Memorial service, where Synthia will roll her eyes, decline to expound on the "...and blow" part, and we we all look very somber.
The ride back up started with In 'n Out Burger and rapidly went downhill as the hours lengthened after midnight. Raw material digested by us four included philosophical musings on SSS rules, whiners, the nature of religion, similarities between the SHTP and LongPac to meditation, and Ruben snoring.
But back to the beginning.....We pulled in to the California Yacht Club, and hot on our heels was Skip Allen, which was great. Chris and Justine Humann followed soon after, they had flown down. We had time for a beer in the bar (I changed into a kilt and tie) and then the Memorial started.
it was held outside on the lawn behind the California Yacht Club and I was pretty shocked at the number of people in attendance. There were a LOT of well-dressed men in formal suits, as would be expected. Tom Kirschbaum was a highly respected attorney in Southern California working on employee benefit plans and tax ramifications of their programs. The praise from former workers was high. It is clear that they, too saw Tom as a little bit different; high standards, intelligent, careful and meticulous were things we heard a lot of. It was also clear that everybody at that Memorial service knew Tom was a sailor and as a friend had put it, about Toms SHTP.. "the people who aren't sailors think it's insane, and the sailors are all jealous."
Tom and Gayle are very into Opera, and a singer from the LA Opera performed. Several co-workers spoke and then Eric Lambert, a PSSA sailor, good friend of Toms and the guy who I've been in touch with about the details of what he saw when he found Feral in the surf on Santa Monica beach, said a few words. Me being who I am, I HAD to stick my arm up in the air and volunteer to speak, so I told two sailing stories on Tom and talked about making your dreams come true. Toms daughter Ilana spoke a bit, and despite the fact that she was clearly very emotional, spoke well and with poise.
The family had a small team of videographers there, and the SSS TransPaccers lined up and said a few words for the video, so in years to come Toms daughters, Dina and Ilana, and Gayle will remember that we were there and what an honor it was to sail with Tom.
After the memorial was over, Synthia, Ruben, Rob, Chris, Justine and myself drove over and saw Feral on the beach, where she lay after being hauled well up away from the surf line. We'll have pictures. It's pretty sobering. I spotted Ferals Ca YC burgee in the wreckage and grabbed it, I will mail it to Gayle.
It was a hard day, but a good day. Gayle and the girls told us many times how glad they were that the SSS'ers were there. Ilana said, and was quoted saying that her dad truly came alive when he was on the boat. He became who he really was when he was sailing.
Truth is, we shouldn't have been there. Tom should have pulled into Marina Del Rey that day, tired wet and cold. He should have put Feral away and gone home to his family. There shouldn't have been a Memorial this past Thursday, it should have been on some Thursday twenty or twenty five years from now. But sometimes that's just not how it works out. I am glad that I personally, and that so many of Toms Nor Cal SSS sailing friends took the time to go down to Southern California, yesterday.
Last edited: