D-25
Less than a month away and I thought I'd take stock of where I am.
I'll start with an update on preparation:
1. A couple battery chargers are on the way: one for each battery, allowing for a backup should one fail. I'll need to test each with the generator.
2. Picking up on the "it's hot" comment from Skip's weather tips I got a small battery powered fan for the berth.
3. I've been testing a power bank for electronic devices. It seems to be working well.
4. I was recommended a French book about weather routing and have been applying that knowledge to SailGrib.
5. I got two types of chafe prevention balm. I found out that either my life jacket or the dry suit neck seal is rubbing against my neck.
6. I've started putting together a day checklist that I can use to track daily activities. I plan to laminate that and cross things off as tasks get accomplished.
7. I've started applying a citrus based solution to limit underwater growth.
Here's where I think I'm falling short in terms of preparation. Now, I don't know what I don't know and I'm reasonably confident the list is longer. Although, as all list, I'd rather keep this one short, you're welcome to nail a few more items to it.
1. I think I could have practiced more head sail changes. Last year in Santa Cruz that's what I started with, in flat water. But offshore I refrained from venturing to the bow, not being properly dressed. A few months back I bought a dry suit as a life insurance for that North Pacific crossing I bailed out of, out of concern for my emotional sanity. I haven't put it to work though. I have mentally rehearsed things as an alternative. If past races are any indication head sail change is a weakness of mine, either because I select the wrong one or don't switch.
2. I still don't know for sure which sail to carry on the windy reach. I've been wondering how hot I can sail with the chicken chute. I don't think I'll get to try that. Singlehanded on the Olson 30 it seems really hard to put a lot of sail area as too much healing makes it hard for the auto-pilot to handle.
3. I'm not on top of the auto-pilot. It works, that's a given. I'm just not sure of what the limits are, just like alluded to above. The more I read the more it's apparent that most skippers rely on the auto-pilot to a great extent. For me that means a conservative sail plan but that most often also spells S L O W.
4. I have not sailed with the spinnaker in more than 15 kts and mostly I have not sailed with a spinnaker in any significant swell. Well, that's not 100% true as I did helm a Clipper boat with the spinny up on 8-12 ft swell in 15-20 kts of wind. That was another kind of boat ...
5. Weather routing is another weakness. My knowledge of weather is very limited.
6. Physically I can't say that I'm buffed up as I've been slacking on fitness for several years now.
7. Last but not least I have almost zero experience racing and certainly zero multi-day experience. Even without considering course choices, decisions about heading, sail choices, sail trim, all things that make a boat go fast, are still infantile.
I'll stop there with this list. I will now put things in perspective and balance this with a list of things I did well.
1. Confronted with two schools of thoughts I chose to buy a boat that had been prepared. This was the right choice for me. When it comes to boat projects I have two left foot. The boat was more expensive than I had hoped; I bought time and time is priceless.
2. When I started I had zero experience with spinnakers. I now can sail with one singlehanded. I learned to rig a poled out jib and even dabbled with twin jibs. I've played with all my headsails, reefed the main more than I care to count. I've surfed with the boat and learned that I like to go fast.
3. When I started I had zero offshore sailing experience. I now have made a 16 days crossing in a semi racing environment; I did my qualifying cruise; I sailed from Santa Cruz to Richmond; I sailed to the Farallon.
4. When I started I had zero racing experience. I now have a few races under my belt and friendly circumstances even allowed me to place in a few.
5. Even though the boat had been prepared I still went through hundreds of small decisions here and there. Through that sea of confusion for this newbie sailor I managed to pull through. I realize there is so much more to know; still, I remain steady on my course and, with 25 days left, I hope all will continue in the same manner. Possibly a good way to describe my experience with this process over the past 18 months is that I am like a sailor in a dense fog, with all senses on the look out for indications of what's to come, hoping to alleviate surprises. It was intense; it still is. There aren't many signs out there. This forum helped, some consulting helped, friendly advice helped. Still I remain in this deep fog and have learned to live with it and trust that all will be well. I don't want to diminish the importance of all who helped, however, the preparation for the race was mostly a singlehanded adventure. All my sailing was 99% done alone, all my preparation was 99% done alone, all my decision making was 99% done alone.
6. I've struggled with my mental angst alone too. Maybe I project a face of confidence, maybe not, you decide. I am however a whirlwind of poor self esteem, fear of the unknown and an overly critical mind mixed together. That is what I have mostly been dealing with the past months. It's not over; it's a daily battle. Just as an example: sometimes I feel like I may end up like Crowhurst, big dreams vanishing in the ether offshore. How my mind comes up with these follies I don't know but once out they like to float around. Throughout it all I've worked at it, not letting it get the best of me. Earlier posts on this thread show how angry I was when dealing with the boat and sail evolutions. The land of zen sailing is still out there and it's closer now. It doesn't appear out of reach anymore. Maybe I'll fly that spinnaker in front of a squall, being relaxed, at one with the sea, the wind, the boat, the human and all the humans who got me there, smiling happily under the stars.
7. I do not have a support group to carry me through this. It's most likely a reflection of who I am, a socially maladjusted individual. Regardless I marched on.
8. Whatever happens next ... I'm leaving behind me a story on this forum that may prove helpful and encouraging to other newbies with lofty dreams.
9. I managed cost as best as I could. I'm over budget but not twice as much as is often the standard, which really means I did very well in this department.
Certainly I couldn't change where I started from. All I could do was build from there. I think I did well in that regard. I did get help along the way and I'm thankful for that.
The story won't be over until I'm back from Hanalei and I have sold all the remaining bits of this adventure, maybe making room for the next one.
At work I was know as Philippe "I don't know". I still don't ... What is knowing anyway?
